Our tongues are at the top of the list of all the things in our lives that cause us frustration and regret. Most of our regrets involve things we have said that we wish we could take back. The truth is words are powerful. Scripture teaches that they have the power of "life and death" (Proverbs 18:21). Today, we will talk about the power of our words and be encouraged to carefully and intentionally use them to speak life.
BREAK THE ICE
What is one of the most encouraging things someone has said to you?
SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS
Bible Study Questions
1. What causes us to speak words that we later regret?
WATCH SERMON RECAP
2. Read James 1:19. How does James encourage us to be careful with the words we speak in this verse?
James 1:19
"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry."
3. Read James 3:1-6. Describe the power of our tongues.
James 3:1-6
"Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. 3 We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. 4 And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. 5 In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. 6 And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself."
"Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.
3 We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. 4 And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. 5 In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.
But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. 6 And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself."
4. Read Luke 6:43-45. What insights do these verses give us about the words we say?
Luke 6:43-45
"A good tree can't produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can't produce good fruit. 44 A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thornbushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. 45 A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart."
Application
1. When do you most often find yourself saying words you regret?
2. What would it look like for you practically to be "slow to speak," as James 1:19 instructs us?
3. Examine the words you have said that you regret for a moment. What do the words reveal about the condition of your heart? (Is there jealousy, pride, anger, hurt, etc.?) What steps can you take to let go of these things this week?
MOVING FORWARD
1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “encourage each other and build each other up." We do this by speaking words of life and encouragement over each other. Take a few minutes to encourage each other. One by one, share one thing your group member has done well or list the growth you have seen in them and speak words of life over them. As you do this, you will build one another up, speaking life over each other with your words.
GOING DEEPER
Because the words we speak reveal the state of our hearts, if we want to be people who use our words wisely, we have to start with the heart issues that are revealed through our words. Let’s take a few moments to explore three qualities of the heart that make us say words that are unwise.
Pride:
Perhaps pride is the most predominant heart issue that impacts our words. When we allow pride to get in our hearts, we say unkind, hurtful, and demeaning words that tear others down. We have to fight against the pride that arises in our lives and choose humility instead if we want to guard our words and speak life-giving words to the people around us.
1. Read Proverbs 13:10 and Proverbs 16:18. How does pride impact us, especially in our relationships?
Proverbs 13:10
"Pride leads to conflict; those who take advice are wise."
Proverbs 16:18
"Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall."
2. How have you seen the negative impacts of pride in your own life, especially in your relationships?
3. Read Proverbs 11:2. What is the impact of living in humility instead of pride?
Proverbs 11:2
"Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."
4. How would having a humble attitude keep you from pride?
Jealousy:
When our hearts are filled with jealousy, we say things we never meant to say. We speak negatively about others. We brag to make ourselves appear better than those around us. Jealousy causes us to say things that we never thought we would say. In order to be people who use our words wisely, we have to let go of jealousy.
1. Read Proverbs 14:30 and James 3:16. How does jealousy impact us and our relationships?
Proverbs 14:30
"A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones."
James 3:16
"For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind."
2. How have you seen the negative impacts of jealousy in your own life, especially in your relationships?
3. Read Philippians 2:3. How does humility combat selfishness?
Philippians 2:3
"Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves."
4. How would having a humble attitude keep you from jealousy?
Anger:
Of all of the heart conditions we have looked at today, perhaps anger causes the most regrets. Anger leads us to speak harsh, even hateful, words that we cannot take back. When we are filled with anger, we say words without considering the harmful impact that they can have. We have to choose to fight against anger in order to be people who carefully guard our words.
1. Read Proverbs 29:22. How does anger impact us and our relationships?
Proverbs 29:22
"An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin."
2. How have you seen the negative impacts of anger in your own life, especially in your relationships?
3. Read James 1:19-21. How does humility combat anger?
James 1:19-21
"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. 21 So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls."
4. How would having a humble attitude keep you from anger?
Reflect:
Take a few moments to reflect on what Scripture says about pride, jealousy, and anger and how to combat these heart conditions.
1. How do each of these heart conditions we discussed play a role in the words we say?
2. Of the areas we discussed, which area needs the most growth, pride, jealousy, or anger? Why?
3. What step can you take starting this week to grow in that area?
End your time praying for each other. Pray that God would give each one of you humility in order to fight against the pride, jealousy, and anger that arise in us. Ask Him to help us hold on to humility so that we can be people who consistently speak life giving words.
MONTHLY MEMORY VERSE (Available for download on Sagebrush App)
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16
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