Talk To Me: Week 2

 Have you ever heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?” Well, we all have, but I guess the real question is how many of you believe that statement is true?

We all have a story of when words hurt us. One of our Student Pastors shared a story about when they were hurt. There was a time when he was in high school and a girl who he had been crushing on hard for a while decided to tell him that she didn’t like him. She made it abundantly clear, that not only did she not like him as a boyfriend, but she also didn’t even like him as a friend, at all. In hindsight, he realized there had to have been something wrong with her because who wouldn’t love all of that, but at the moment her words really hurt him and he can still remember how cruel she was to him even to this day. Our words are extremely powerful.

Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death”

Consider the hurt these simple three-word sentences can bring like clean your room, I’m not interested, Run the mile or, I hate you. The sad truth is we all have had hurtful words said to us and we all have said hurtful words to others.

The Bible says that the words that come out of our mouths do three things. Our words reveal our character, have the potential to destroy our relationships and cause unneeded pain

Let’s start with the idea that our words reveal our character. That means our words show who we are.

Luke 6:45 says, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”

Jesus is teaching here, what you say shows who you are.

• Think about a cup that is too full. Eventually, if you keep pouring liquid into the cup this cup is going to overflow all over the table and eventually all over the floor.
  And, so it is with our words. What flows out of us reveals who we are on the inside.
• If you are full of anger and hatred you will say words that wound those you say you care about.
• If you are filled with jealousy your words will be dripping in gossip.
• If you are a deceitful person your words will be full of lies and eventually, no one will believe a word that comes out of your mouth.
• If your words are profane then your words show that your heart is hard and far from God.

If you want to understand who you are inside, listen to your words. Your words reveal who you are so the question is what your words reveal about you.

Not only that but words can destroy relationships.

How many times have you wounded someone with your words? How many times have you looked at someone you claimed to love, someone who trusted you and you looked at them and lied to their face? How many friendships have you lost? Because of the way you talked to them.

I don’t know if there is anything more devastating to a relationship than being lied to and some of us are doing this daily without even giving a thought to the damage that we are doing.

I know students who lie about their homework being done or lie about where they were and who they were with. They lie to get out of trouble or to get out of something they don’t want to do. Some kids lie just to lie because they are so insecure, that they have to make every story bigger than it was. They exaggerate the truth to make themselves look like a big shot. Eventually, the truth comes out, and guess what you play the part of the fool. Did you know when you lie you are just like Satan? Look at what Jesus said.

John 8:44 says,
“You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

Jesus said that Satan is a thief that has come to steal, kill and destroy your life. Have you ever asked yourself how he can destroy you? It’s quite simple. If he can get you to do what he has always been doing, lying to others, you will eventually destroy every relationship you have. Your parents won’t believe you; your friends won’t want anything to do with you and he will have you right where he wants you.

The Bible says lying is so hurtful that it’s one of the seven detestable sins, or as many have coined it, the 7 “Deadly” sins.

Proverbs 6:16-19 says,
“Here are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”

How interesting that of those 7 things mentioned, three of them reference our words. Not only do we see lying, but also bearing false witness against someone, or in other words; lying about someone else or gossiping about someone. And we see here that our words can be used to stir up conflict.

Some of you are using your words to do that as well. Some of us know how to get a reaction from others by picking and picking on them with our words. You come in with a sour attitude and you start letting it rip until everyone is fighting and yelling at each other.

Some of you do that in church. You start to stir up any drama you can to divide people to be against each other. Do you see how dangerous this is, here is the interesting thing. None of this is necessary. Hurtful words reveal our character and destroy relationships. Not only that but words can cause unneeded pain.

Some of us are great at calling each other names to bring someone else down. We build ourselves up by tearing other people down. Do you see how unlike Jesus this is? Do you see how messed up this is? Jesus used his words to build others up. He left people in better shape than the way he found them.

And here is the kicker about our words. Once those words have left your mouth you can never take those words back. Once they’re said, no matter what is said afterward, they’ve already done their damage. That is the kind of power that words have.

I could keep going and I know some of you might be thinking “quit being so dramatic.” I mean the tongue has the power of life and death. Think about the stories you hear of a student committing suicide or attempting suicide because of the things people are saying about them at school or because of the way they are being talked about on social media.

Jesus put it this way.

Matthew 5:22
“But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.”

That is how seriously Jesus takes our words. Every careless word you have ever spoken has been recorded and one day we will give an account for the words we chose to speak. Maybe that’s why the Bible says in

Ephesians 4:29
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

God’s Word didn’t say only let some unwholesome, nasty talk be said, it says to not allow any nasty words to come out of our mouths. We need to only say things that help those who listen when they hear them.

We have to make this something we strive to get better at every day. We need to quit letting something so unneeded dominate our lives and bring hurt to those around us.

So what do we do about it?

Evaluate
If our words reveal our character. If our words reveal what's on the inside. Then, what do your words say about who you are? This might be a harsh realization for some of you. You probably have some things on the inside that are messed up and that are causing your words to be hurtful.

Pray
We have to give control of what we say to God. We need to pray every day that God would place a guard over our mouths so that we might not sin against Him or sin against anyone else. We need to pray “oh God, may the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing in your sight oh my lord and my redeemer. We need to pray every day before we head off to school. God, help me to be an encourager. Help me to speak words that bring life to others and not death. Help me to say the words that you would have me say.

Repent
And then every night before you go to bed mentally go back through your day and think about the words that came out of your mouth. Did you gossip? Did you lie? Did you cut someone down? Did you tell a dirty joke, did you cuss someone out? Did you use God’s name in vain?
Confess what you said to God and tell him that you are sorry for the poor example you were when you said those things. Ask him to fill you with his heart for people. Ask him to fill you with love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and gentleness and self-control. Tell him that with his help you will try to say one less bad and hurtful word tomorrow.

Repeat
Do this over and over again, day after day until you have finally surrendered the words that are coming out of your mouth over to his control. Here’s the cool thing, if you let God transform you from the inside you will become more and more like the person he created you to be, and in turn that will come out in the way you talk.

If we don't improve these habits, and keep using our words against others, we'll have no one left in our corner. Start this process right now. Use your words to bring life and healing to the world around you. Ask yourself how many of my friends need me to be encouraging today. Then, do it. be kind, show love, and use your voice to help those around you.