How many of you really like being alone? Your ideal Friday night is you, your video games, a bag of hot cheetos and no one bugging you? Or maybe you like sitting in school by yourself and people watching. You are not really interested in parties and meeting new people. You are completely content just being by yourself. You do not need anyone to entertain you.
Ok how many of you are like me and you really don’t like being alone? Like 99% of the time if I have a choice between sitting at home alone on my phone or hanging out with friends. I am choosing friends. You invite your friends to do anything with you as long as you don’t have to go alone. And when you are alone, let’s be honest. You talk to yourself or you call someone so you have someone to talk to. You just don’t prefer being alone.
Whatever side you land on is ok. Some of us are introverts and some of us are extroverts. Neither is right or wrong. But the truth is whether you enjoy being alone or you hate it we all need people in our lives. We all need people supporting and helping us through life.
Last week we made a commitment to pick two habits to change. One habit to start and one to stop. The reason we did that is because we are tired of living the same old boring life everyone else lives. We want more than that and God wants more for us. He wants us to give up the habits that are hurting us and start picking up habits that will give us the abundant life God created for us.
We picked those habits and made a commitment and a plan to how we were going to start or stop them. We wrote those plans down and prayed over them and I really hope you started working towards those goals already.
Let me fill you in on a little secret though. Whatever commitment you made last week. You can’t accomplish it. You won’t succeed. That is on your own. If you are thinking yeah I am just gonna grind it out, not tell anyone about my habit changes or ask for prayer or help, and I got this. No you don’t.
In fact, I bet you have already tried that before. I bet you have tried to make changes in your life on your own and I bet you have struggled or failed. The reality is we weren’t made to figure this kind of stuff out on our own. We need people in our corner.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says,"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
We are better off with people in our lives. We are meant to help each other and have people help us. We aren’t supposed to carry our problems and needs on our own. There are some essential relationships that we need if we want to go from living a boring life that leaves no impact to living the life we were created to live.
First, We need a mentor.
We need someone who is pouring into us. Usually this is someone who is older and wiser than you. Someone with a bit more life experience. Someone who knows you and can help you grow.
In the Bible, Timothy had Paul. Timothy was a young man who grew up in a family that really loved the Lord. His mother was a devoted follower of Jesus and so was he. Timothy became well known among his people for his love for Jesus and Paul heard about it. So, Paul decided to take him under His wing. Acts 16 shows Paul starting to bring Timothy along with him on his missionary journeys where they spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.
After this chapter we see Timothy’s name come up a couple more times in the book of acts, usually when he is on a missionary trip with Paul where he is learning from Paul and helping him in his ministry.
Then in the books of 1st and 2nd Timothy, Paul is writing letters to Timothy helping him and giving him advice on how to lead the church in a place called Ephesus. Look at some of the advice Paul gives Timothy.
1 Timothy 1: 18-19“Timothy, my son, here are my instructions for you, based on the prophetic words spoken about you earlier. May they help you fight well in the Lord’s battles. Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear.”
1 Timothy 4:12“Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.”
1 Timothy 6:11 “But you, Timothy, are a man of God; so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness.”
And these are all just from the first letter. Paul knew Timothy and knew Timothy’s situation and he knew what he needed to hear, and when he needed to hear it. Paul had all the marks of a good mentor and here are some ways we can see that: 1. He knew Timothy and saw what he was capable of. You need a mentor who knows you. They know your strengths and weaknesses and they see your potential. Someone who can speak life into you and encourage you. They can remind you of the gifts and talents God has put inside of you and help you use them to benefit others and God’s kingdom.
2. Paul loved timothy. You can see all throughout Paul’s letters. He calls Timothy things like “My son” he expresses wanting to be with him to help him. Paul wasn’t just teaching Timothy to lead the church but He was also caring for him. He was a friend who meant a lot to Paul, Paul wanted what was best for Timothy and his ministry and he did what he could to help. You need a mentor who cares about you. They care about your life and your heart. Someone you know is in your corner.
3. Pauls’ wisdom was God’s wisdom.Paul wasn’t basing all his advice to Timothy on his own opinion or what sounded good to Paul. No, it was all about God’s Word and how to honor God well. Paul didn’t just want Timothy to be like Paul, Paul wanted Timothy to be like Jesus. Get a mentor who wants to help you be more like Jesus.
So where do you find someone to pour into you? It could be a pastor or a leader in Remix. Maybe your parents really love the Lord or a family friend who does. A great place to find a mentor is a small group. For those of you who are already in small groups I hope you know how much your small group leader cares for you and is so excited to help you learn and grow. They are the best possible mentor for you. If you aren’t in a small group, I would really encourage you to join one next semester.
A small group is also a great place to find the next essential relationship we’re discussing today:
We need someone to grow with.
Ok so you have your mentor you have someone helping you learn and grow and become the person you want to be. Now you need your people who are growing right next to you. They are in the same place as you and they have the same goals as you. You get to learn together and help each other and just enjoy life together.
Timothy had these people. People that Paul was also mentoring that he was going on these trips with. I bet they shared meals together, they prayed for each other. I bet there were moments that Paul would teach them something and then Timothy and the other people with him would have to talk about it and figure out how to do it together.
Galatians 6:2 says,“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ”
So essentially what I am saying is that you need friends. But not just any friends. You probably all have friends. But are they the kind of friends you can ask to pray for you? Are they the kind of friends who will have your back when there is drama at school? Are they the people who would never gossip about you? Do they have the same goal to follow Jesus? Think about it like this.
How many of you enjoy group projects? Now let's be honest, group projects can be really good or really bad. It all depends on the people you are working with. Some group projects are the worst because everyone is on a different page, some people want to work really hard and get an A, others just want to coast through the class, others don’t even know what class they are in! Everyone ends up frustrated and no one really gets what they could have gotten out of it. But every once in a while a miracle happens. You get put into a group with a bunch of people who all want to do their part, you all work hard, and help each other and you turn in a project you are all proud of.
Think of your life like a group project. If you surround yourself with people who don’t care about the things you care about, don’t have the same goals as you, don’t want to help you. You are just going to end up frustrated. But if you surround yourself with the kind of friends who want to grow together. Who wants to know Jesus and follow Him together. You are going to live like Jesus created you to live.
We need someone to pour into.
Timothy didn’t take Paul's instructions and learn from his friends and keep it to himself. He found other people to share it with. He became a leader of the early church where he shared his wisdom in helping them understand God’s Word and follow Him.
He didn’t just have a mentor for no reason.
He grew so he could help others grow.
That’s why we do it too. We don’t just grow for our own benefit. We are made to make an impact. If you have someone pouring into you and helping you grow and you have friends who are helping you become better followers of Jesus. Don’t you want to share that with someone? The most fulfilling and exciting part of my life is helping people grow as they follow Jesus. I love getting to be a part of what God is doing in the lives of other people. It is the coolest thing in the world.
You may be thinking “I am only in middle school/high school. How am I supposed to pour into anyone?” There are so many ways you can do that! If you are in middle school you can talk to a kids director at your campus and ask them how you can help serve someone who is younger than you. If you are in high school, why don’t you go start helping with middle school. In middle school wouldn’t you have loved to have someone in high school who cared enough about you to help you figure out life in middle school? Do you have younger siblings? Maybe you can help them!
All you have to do is find some people who want to grow, and be there for them. Be their friend, let them know you care about them, be there to answer their questions and always point them back to the advice of the Bible. You don’t have to teach them the whole Bible, just take what you have learned from your mentor and your friends and share it with someone else.
Here is your homework should you choose to accept it. Answer these three questions.
Finally I want you to consider getting into a small group. This is such a great place to find a mentor and friends to do life with. You and your small group may even be able to serve together. Then you have all 3! How great would that be?
Imagine what our world would be like if we all did this, If we all had someone who was older and wiser and we actually listened to their advice. We all had friends who helped us become the person we want to be and we all took that and shared it with someone else. I bet rates of loneliness would go way down. I bet a lot of the anxiety and fear in the world would go away because we’d have people to help us through it. I bet lives would be transformed just by the way we live our lives and God works through us. The question is will we do it?
©2024 Sagebrush Church
