Welcome to week 2 of Love Isn’t Blind! Last week we started talking about dating and love, and asked the question… Is Love Blind? We’ve all heard of those ridiculous game shows on TV like “Love is Blind”, and even “The Dating Game,” where people blindly decide if they want to marry someone strictly based on a few goofy questions. So last week we started our own dating show, getting to know what love really is. We talked about how love is patient and kind. We discussed how every one of us wants that kind of love. This week we’re talking about what love isn’t.
Back in the day, people had a VERY unique way of displaying love to another person. Here were some insane attempts at showing love:
In the 17th century, can you guess what people would use to show their initial love for someone? Not flowers, rings, or Pandora jewelry. For whatever reason people thought giving spoons, yes, SPOONS was a good gift for someone they were interested in. Imagine if today you got down on one knee, reached in your pocket, and proposed with a spoon. Ladies, don’t say yes if he tries this!
Leading up to the 19th century, at the start of a dance, ladies would wedge an apple slice in between their armpits. At the end of the night, the girls would decide what guy was “lucky” enough to earn her apple. She would offer the slice to the guy and if he ate it, love was just around the corner. Guys, anybody what to eat an apple slice from a girl’s armpit? I’m not even sure girls shaved their armpits back then.
Let’s just say it for what it is. People back then were weird. I am so glad those traditions died out. Today we’re going to talk about some other areas that would be best if they died out in our love as well.
Last week, we played The Dating Game with two of the best possible bachelors/bachelorettes any of us could ever want, Love is Patient and Kind. This week, let’s continue on The Dating Game with a couple of new bachelors or bachelorettes.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says, “ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
From this, we learn that- Love Isn’t Arrogant.
So, our first contestant today stands high and mighty and thinks that they have it going on. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s Arrogance.
This passage teaches us some pretty clear descriptions of what love isn’t. Love is not jealous, boastful, proud, rude, and doesn’t demand its own way. All those things have to do with being arrogant.
Have you ever been around somebody who acts like they are all that? They act like they are a little smarter than everyone else or a little bit superior to everyone else. They think they are more athletic than everyone else or prettier than everyone else. Don’t you hate to be around people who are full of themselves?
Here is the interesting thing about arrogance– it’s easy to see arrogance in someone else, but it is hard to see it in ourselves. How many times have you acted like the big shot, making everything about you and your great accomplishments? Sometimes we act like this because we are just trying to keep up with everyone else.
When you’re in 3rd period and your classmates are talking about how great they are, showing off sports highlights, laughing at how funny their jokes are, referencing how much they can lift at the gym, or constantly talking about how many views or likes they got on their post… isn’t it almost instinct to respond with how great we are too?
That scenario I just described, that’s contestant number one today. He or she is in it for themselves, and they want the world to revolve around them. In a dating relationship, they want the other person to do what they want them to do and go where they want them to go. They are selfish because it’s all about their happiness. Bottom line: That IS NOT love.
This is one ugly bachelor. This one can’t stop talking about themselves. They can’t stop being the center of attention. Listen, if you can’t put the needs of another person ahead of yourself, if you can’t serve the other person, then you should not be in a dating relationship because you are not mature enough yet to realize that relationships are about giving and not about taking from others. Don’t claim to love someone if everything in your life is about you. True love puts other people’s needs above our own. It makes our life about other’s success.
Steer clear of arrogance. Don’t date this one and don’t be like this one. Now let’s take a look at contestant number 2.
Love Isn’t Irritable.
Irritable, what a weird word. I’m just guessing, but I bet many of us have been called this word by our parents a time or two. Irritable is basically when everything annoys you.
How many of us are guilty of being irritable? Do you carry a negative, hateful attitude around with you everywhere you go? Think about the last time you got home from a long day and your parents came and asked you how your day was. Did you take a second to love them with your response, to tell them it was challenging, but give them a few highs and lows as to why? Or was your answer the same as always, “It was fine, ugh…” as you plopped down on your bed? Being irritable is never having a good attitude, but it is more than just a bad attitude.
Someone who is irritable constantly holds another person’s mistakes over their head. They bring up the past. They throw the mistakes of the other person in their face over and over again. Have you been treated like that by someone else? Have you treated someone else like this?
Don’t be that person and don’t date someone who is like that. We are supposed to be patient and kind, and we are supposed to forgive others the way that Jesus has forgiven us. Our attitude is supposed to be like Jesus.
Today’s Dating Game was a flop, wasn’t it? Who wants to date arrogant and irritable? Who wants to be arrogant and irritable? When we act like this, we aren’t loving others.
Last week was patient and kind, this week was arrogant and irritable. Which one describes you? Be honest. Is your first thought to be patient with others or to let it rip on others? Think about your friendships. Think about your mom and dad. Think about your brothers and sisters. Are you patient with them? If you are dating someone, are you patient with them or do they annoy you? How is your attitude? Does it look like Jesus’ attitude? Are you a kind person or are you sarcastic and mean with your words? Think about your friendships. Think about your mom and dad. Think about your brothers and sisters. Do you love others the way Jesus loved others?
Let’s end today with a little self-reflection. I want you to evaluate yourself on 4 things; patience, kindness, rudeness, and irritability. With each characteristic, rate yourself on a scale of 1-10.
Honestly, most of us filling out these first four scales probably lean on the lower side of being patient and kind with people around us, and a lot higher on the side of being Rude and Irritable. So how can we switch that this week? What steps can you take to be less rude and irritable, and more patient and kind?
I’d encourage you to read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 throughout your week. Set a goal in your head for how many times this week you choose to be patient and kind with those around you instead of being rude and irritable, and see if you can flip your scales.
We’ve talked about what love is, and even what love isn’t. Next, we are going to consider what are the red flags of a dating relationship vs signs of a truly healthy relationship? Join us next week to find out!
©2024 Sagebrush Church
