Today we are going to be talking about love and dating. Let’s be honest, every one of us here could use some dating advice. So where do we turn to for help with this?
I think one of the best resources to help us understand what great, healthy, and amazing relationships look like is the Netflix Series, “Love Is Blind”... No? Have you seen the show?
That show is kind of messed up. If you have not seen this show, it is all based around the idea of “blind dates.” They have about 10 guys and 10 girls who talk to each other, but they can’t see each other. These people go back and forth with these dates until they decide they are ready to meet one of them in person. The goal of this show is to go from initial conversation to attraction, right to marriage by the end of the season, because that’s the way love works, right?
The show “Love is Blind” is based loosely on a game show from the 1960s. There was a show called, “The Dating Game.” Here is how this show worked. They would have a bachelor or a bachelorette sit on one side of the room and then a wall would separate them from three contestants. The bachelor or bachelorette would ask the three people behind the wall different questions and at the end of the 30-minute show, they would pick which person they wanted to go out on a date with.
These shows beg the question, “Is love blind?” Is there such a thing as true love at first sight? Is love as simple as meeting someone once, and just going on from there?
What do you think? The answer is a resounding NO.
Love is a lot more complicated than that, and love is stronger than a Taylor Swift or Olivia Rodrigo song.
Let’s turn to the one true resource that we can always count on. Let’s look at what God has to say about all of this, and as we do that, let’s play The Dating Game.
I want you to imagine that you are sitting on one side of the room, and on the other side behind a curtain are the two contestants that are trying to win your heart.
Let’s take a second to look at what love truly is based on a few eligible bachelors or bachelorettes that we have behind our curtains today. Unfortunately, at the end of our game, you only get to pick one attribute of love to take home with you today.
Using God’s word, let’s find out what love is. What does love look like? Paul defines it this way-
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Now, are you ready to play “The Dating Game?” Let’s play!
Contestant number one is: Love is Patient (1 Corinthians 13:4)
When you are looking for someone to go out with, I would hope that you would want to date someone who is patient with you. None of us really want to date a demanding person who is on our case all the time, right?
Do you want to be with someone who gets mad at you for the slightest mistake you make? Do you want to be with someone who wants to force you to do things in the relationship that aren’t honoring God? No!
We all want someone who is patient with us. We want to be with someone who is willing to give us a second chance even when we don’t deserve it. We want someone who is willing to take the relationship slowly so that over time a deep friendship could develop and it would actually benefit both people.
Too many times we settle for someone who is impatient. Too many times we allow ourselves to get bullied or pressured by someone because they want to take the relationship faster and farther than it needs to go.
Some of us are the impatient ones. You so much want to be with someone in a dating relationship that you end up settling for less than God’s best for you. Rather than waiting, you move from one relationship to another and you never develop a friendship with that person. You end up using that person and leaving them in worse shape than you found them.
Some of you are dating a new person by next week. Some of you have already dated three people this month. That’s pretty much the exact opposite of patience. We are called to wait, to be thoughtful, to be cautious when it comes to something as serious as who we are going to be in a relationship with.
God’s timing is often on a whole different wavelength than our timing. If you are one of the lucky few here today who could actually pull a relationship, then let’s remember patience is a virtue, and it’s also a key to understanding someone else to truly show them love. Challenge yourself, are you being patient with others, with yourself, and even with God’s timing? If not, then you’re missing out on what God has designed you for.
Patience is counter-cultural. We want things NOW. So are you willing to wait for the right person, or do you just want to jump from one person to the next with no thought to how much damage you are causing them and yourself?
And can you be patient with the physical stuff in a dating relationship? Date one shouldn’t be the time to test each other’s physical chemistry. Believe it or not, you don’t have to make out for a date to “count.” You can actually just get to know the other person before you start swapping spit with them. In fact, the longer you put off that stuff, the better chance you have of not only making a friend but maybe meeting the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Now, let’s meet contestant number two.
Contestant number two is: Love is “Kind.” (1 Corinthians 13:4)
Think about that “one” couple we all know… They just started dating, and boy are they kind to each other. They’re so nice, they have a million pet names for one another. They’re scratching each other’s arms, changing their profile picture to the one of their new “love.” It makes you want to throw up a little bit.
It’s crazy that once that couple breaks up…3 weeks later, the conversation goes from, “Oh yea, I love them so much,” to “Oh yea, they’re totally crazy.” Next thing you know, they are deleting their pictures of their “love” and having an Instagram war against each other.
So basically, what they’re telling you is that it was easy to be kind... until it wasn’t.
Being kind is listening to someone’s complaints, even when it annoys you, even when it pushes your buttons, and helping them through it. Being kind, a Godly kindness, is truly looking out for someone else. It’s helping someone with a need that you didn’t even know they had when you first met them, and that only comes when you have gotten to know them and their struggles. Being kind is building the other person up with your words and with the encouragement that you give them.
A lot of people shouldn’t be in a relationship because they are so consumed with themselves. When all a person thinks about is what they can get rather than what they can give, they aren’t being kind, and they probably shouldn’t be in a dating relationship.
Dating should be about friendship. It’s not about all this other stuff that we try to make it to be. It’s about two people slowly getting to know each other and over time developing a strong friendship.
What does a strong friendship look like? It looks like two people who have each other’s back. It looks like two people who brag about each other’s strengths and cover each other’s weaknesses, who never talk behind the other person’s back. A true friend puts the needs of the other person before themselves. They are kind, they are patient, and they love Jesus with all that they’ve got.
If we were still playing The Dating Game, now would be your time to make a choice. Do you want contestant number one? Do you want your relationship to be marked by patience? Or do you want contestant number two? Would you rather have kindness in their dating relationship?
Here is the great news. You don’t have to settle for one or the other. You can have both. That is what God wants for you, and that is the kind of love that God has for you.
©2024 Sagebrush Church
