Kryptonite: Week 2

Envy and jealousy. No one wants to talk about these feelings because if we did, we would come off sounding like a spoiled rotten baby but it is in us. I know it is in me.

Envy raises its ugly head every time I hear about a church that has a bigger student ministry than ours. Rather than being happy for them I wish I was the one making that kind of impact for Jesus.

This is pathetic but I feel envy and jealousy sometimes when I look across the street and someone has nicer clothes, the newer iPhone or playstation, they have cooler shoes, or the nicer car.

Can you relate? Have you ever wanted something that someone else has?

• Maybe you wanted someone else’s girlfriend or boyfriend. They should be with you and it just bums you out that they are with them. And look at them. They look so stupid together.
• Maybe you wanted the latest phone. You are walking around with an iPhone 6 and even Apple isn’t upgrading that phone anymore and everyone else has the latest phone and honestly there are times you would like to shove their phone down their throat. In Jesus name.
• How about this one ladies. Your friend just got the cutest shoes and outfit to match and to top things off they look good in their new outfit. And rather than being excited for them you wish it was you who had those shoes and that cute sweater. You would have added a cute purse to that outfit too.

I could go on and on. It’s tough when someone has what we want so badly. Let me give you a definition for envy.

Envy is resenting what God has done in someone else’s life while you ignore what God has done in your own life.

You know you have fallen into the trap of envy when you start a sentence with the words,

• “I wish…”

I wish I had her hair. I wish I was taller. I wish I was shorter. I wish I had a smaller nose. I wish I had a bigger nose. I wish...

• “That’s not fair.”

They get to go on a family vacation every year and we never get to go anywhere. It’s not fair they always get the new shoes the first day they release. It’s not fair they make straight As and don’t even have to try.

• “What about me?”

When is it going to be my turn? I deserve more out of life than this. I’m tired of everyone else having whatever they want whenever they want it.

The Bible is full of examples where people let envy control them. Cain and Able were the kids of Adam and Eve and Cain became envious of Abel because Abel’s offering was pleasing to God.

"Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast?
If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." Genesis 4:2-7 (NIV)

Cain was jealous that the Lord accepted Abel's offering and that jealousy led him to murder his own brother. But it doesn’t stop there. Just a few chapters later we see that:

• Joseph’s brothers were envious of his dad’s relationship with him because he was the favorite son. His dad showed his favoritism by giving Joseph a robe of many colors. They hated him because of that so when they had the chance to get rid of him, they threw Joseph into a pit and sold him into slavery.
• And the first King Israel ever had, a man named Saul, became envious of a young boy named David. After David killed the giant Goliath David’s popularity began to rise. When they returned from the battlefield the women danced and sang in the streets a little tune that infuriated Saul. Saul has slain his thousands they sang; David has slain his tens of thousands.

“Saul was very angry;(and he asked) what more can he get but the kingdom?" And from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David.” 1 Samuel 18:8-9
From this point on David became a threat and Saul attempted to have him killed. Make no mistake about it.

Envy robs us of our relationships

James 4:1-2 asks, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight.”

It’s hard to love someone you’re envious of. It’s hard to love someone who is a constant reminder of what you are not. Eventually envy takes control of our relationships and we begin to resent another person because in our minds they have it a little better than we do.

Envy robs us of our relationships

It’s impossible to enjoy this day when your mind is consumed with what other people have and what you don’t have.

Proverbs 14:30 says, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”

Envy will rot your attitude. You will become the kind of person who constantly complains about others and about what they have.

Eny blows our situation out of proportion

Envy makes us believe if we don’t get this or don’t get that then we will never be happy in life. In Genesis 30 we see Rachel is upset because her sister is able to have children and she isn’t. She goes to her husband Jacob and says,

“Give me children, or I'll die!" Genesis 30:1 (NIV)

Rachel compares herself with her sister and comes up short in her mind and as a result she just wants her life to end.

James 3:16 says, “Where you have envy…there you find disorder and every evil practice.”

So, How do we break free of our envy?

     1. Realize our problem isn't with other people. Realize our problem is with God.

Let’s face it. Are you in the situation you are in because God is holding out on you? Our problem isn’t with the guy up the street, our problem is with God, so go ahead and let it rip and tell God that he could have done better by you. He could have provided a little more stuff for you to enjoy.

Tell him you are mad about how he has made you and treated you. Then summarize it this way,

“God, I think you owe me.”

Now if you realize how silly that is you are on the verge of a breakthrough.

All I have to do is read the Bible and realize that you and I don’t deserve a thing. I am sinner to the core of my being. I deserve death and hell for the things that I have done and yet because Jesus paid the price from my sins on the cross, and because of that I get to go to heaven. God has been better to me than I will ever deserve.

We need to thank God for what we have and stop being consumed with what we don’t have.

And we need to learn to,

    2. Rejoice with those who rejoice

Romans 12:15 tells us to “rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.”

That is the way King Saul’s son Jonathon was. Jonathon was next in line to be the king of Israel but he believed in the depths of his soul that David, his best friend, needed to be the next king.

He protected David from his crazy dad and put his life on the line time and again so that David would reach his God given potential. There is not one verse of scripture where Jonathon was envious or jealous of David.

Jonathon was able to rejoice with David because Jonathon has a deep understanding of God's plan for his life. He simply trusted in the fact that God knew what he was doing even though at times I’m sure it didn’t make any sense.

Each of us is unique. God has a specific plan for each of our lives and each plan is different. Jonathon refused to be envious of what God was doing in someone else’s life because he was focused on what God was doing in his own life.

So many of the things we get envious of are so stupid. The latest phone won’t be the latest phone next year. One day we will look at a picture of ourselves in a trendy outfit with our kids and they will laugh at that outfit because it won’t be in style anymore. In fact, your kids will wonder if it was ever in style.

Let’s not allow ourselves to get upset over the stuff that doesn’t matter. Let’s be thankful for what we have and stop being envious of what someone else has.