Forgiveness: Week 4

We know that God has called us to forgive others just as He has forgiven us. But what about forgiving yourself? Sometimes we forget about this one, but if you are anything like me; forgiving yourself is the hardest one. But here is the cool thing, our God is a God of second chances. Let me tell you a story.

There once was a man with two sons. The older son was a hard worker, stayed in line, did what he was supposed to do, and never came in early for supper. The younger son, well not so much.

One day, the younger son came to the father and boldly said, “Father, I can’t wait any longer. Give me my inheritance now!” An inheritance is money or property that is given out after someone has died. So, the younger brother essentially said, “Dad, it would be better for me if you were dead.” The father responded unlike I would have, by divvying up his property and accepting his son’s request.

So, with his newfound riches, the younger son departs. He was ready to live his life to the fullest in a new city, with a new reputation. And he lived it up! He bought food, he bought drinks, friends, and a reputation. He bought until his wallet dried up. And his newfound freedom was now a newfound bondage to poverty, loneliness, and shame.

So, the younger son found a job working at a farm, except here, his job was to feed pigs. This was not like home. You see, while I love bacon, in this first-century Jewish culture, pigs were viewed as unclean animals. The Jewish people were not allowed to eat pigs, and now the younger son was knee-deep in slop, living with them, and sleeping with them.

As he threw the grub to the herds of swine, the younger son’s stomach began to rumble. He realized that he hadn’t eaten that day. Did he eat yesterday? He couldn’t remember. But all of a sudden, the slop in his hands started looking pretty appetizing.

Then he realized, what am I doing here? This is crazy! I’m standing here, filthy feeding filth to filthy animals when not even the servants at my father’s house have it this bad!

I’ll go back. I’ll go back and I’ll ask for forgiveness, but not as a son. I can’t go back as a son, but I can go back as a servant. My father’s servants had three meals a day and never were cold, homeless, or alone. And so, the younger son set off, back to the city where he was born expecting shame, and hoping for a job.

As soon as the younger son steps foot within sight of his father’s house, he sees someone fast moving, running, sprinting toward him. Oh no, he thought, it’s his father.

Remember, the last time the son had seen his father he had told him that It would be better if he were dead. Then, he wasted nearly half of his father’s hard-earned money. So, when he saw his father again, running toward him he had a certain expectation, the pain! The father came running until he nearly tackled him.

There was no pain but embrace. Tears of joy stream from the father’s eyes. Instead of anger and getting even, the Father put a ring on his son’s finger, a coat on his back, and began leading him home.

The emotional father called out to his servants, “It’s time to celebrate! Slaughter the fattened calf!” Party of the year! They set up a tent out back, played music, danced, ate, drank, and rejoiced at the homecoming of the younger son.

But the older son was frustrated. He refused to go to the party. “My disrespectful little brother. No, not brother. He insulted my father and left! He is no brother to me anymore.” The older brother brooded over his hatred for his so-called brother, and his disbelief that all these festivities were in his honor!

Then, the father peeks out the back door. Seeing his older brother still as a statue, jaw clenched and fists balled, he called out to him, “Come! Come join the party, my son!”

“I will do no such thing,” the older brother said. Then, he revealed his heart, “Father, I have worked hard my whole life for you. I have never complained, never disrespected you, never disobeyed you. And have you ever, ever thrown me a party like this? No! But my kid brother disrespected you, abandoned us, squandered your hard-earned money, came back empty-handed and you slaughtered the fattened calf? No, I will not come in, because my younger brother deserves none of this!”

And yet, we see the father in our story, speak softly to his older son, saying,

Luke 15:31
“My son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad because this brother of yours was dead and now he is alive again; he was lost and is found.”

So, whose shoes do you find yourselves in today? I think when we hear the story the natural inclination is to identify with the older brother. We like to put ourselves in the position of moral superiority like we are better than the younger brother. If you have heard this story preached before, you probably heard the main point preached as “forgive others even when they don’t deserve it,” which is great; we should do that.

Let’s take a different approach. I want you to try to step into the younger brother's shoes. Can you imagine how he is feeling here? He blew it big time. His arrogance, pride, foolishness, and selfishness lead him down a terrible path. Think about how his actions made his family feel. Think about the weight of the guilt, shame, and embarrassment he must have felt.

I know that you know how he felt because we have all been in this situation. A situation in which you said, “I could never forgive myself.” Maybe, like the younger brother, the path you’ve chosen thus far has been something you’re not proud of. If that’s you, then you should know one thing.

1. Our God is a God of Second Chances

When it comes to forgiving ourselves we have to realize this truth. The grand story of God and humanity that we see in the Bible is one of redemption, not perfection. Pick any person in scripture and I guarantee they have a redemption story.

Moses:
He killed a guy. He ran away and then spent 40 years in exile as a shepherd. Do you think he had trouble forgiving himself? But he returned to lead God’s people out of slavery because our God is a God of a second chance.

David:
He was considered a man after God’s own heart yet he committed adultery and had his mistress’s husband killed in battle. But, our God is a God of second chances.

Paul
He killed Christians. He would drag them out of their houses and imprison them. But after encountering Jesus he went on to become the greatest missionary of all time.

Peter:
He walked with Jesus. He saw Jesus do miracles. He knew Jesus better than anyone, arguably. But, Peter denied that he even knew Jesus 3 times. Peter went on to be one of the primary leaders of the church because our God is a God of second chances.

So, if you are perfect, then you are in the wrong place today because God uses our mistakes for his glory. Instead of staying in a place of guilt and the same, think about what could be on the other side of you forgiving yourself. We need to understand this second point.

2. Forgiving Yourself Starts With Finding Your Purpose

Look at these stories that we just talked about. None of these individuals was perfect. All of them screwed up big time. And all of them did amazing things for God. God worked through them in powerful ways. They had to move past their mistakes to get to their purpose.

Let me ask you a question. What if everyone just gave up when they screwed up? What if these people just stopped serving God because they messed up? You can’t move forward if you are going to continually dwell on the past.

God has a plan and a purpose for you. You were created on purpose for a purpose. And you might think your actions have derailed that purpose, but don’t give yourself that much credit. If I could screw up God’s plan for my life I would have already done so. But our God is bigger than that. Our God takes our mistakes and turns them into something good. What the devil meant for evil, God, and turn and use for good.

And here’s the thing; no matter how hard you try you can never be too far gone from God. No matter what you’ve done or how far you have strayed God still loves you and He is always going to welcome you back as a child. Just like the Father in the story. You see that was an earthly story with a heavenly meaning. No matter what you’ve done God wants you to just come back to him, so you can restore yourself, which brings us to our last point.

3. We Can Forgive Ourselves Because God Has Forgiven Us

I told you that the grand story of God and humanity is one of redemption. And, you see, the culmination of this story is forgiveness. God knew that we wouldn’t be able to keep his commandments. And in our rebellion against God’s law, we hurt ourselves and those around us. So what does God do? He decided to take the punishment for us. He paid a sin debt that we couldn’t. Jesus came to earth and lived a perfect life.

Jesus was nailed to a cross by the ones he came to save, and crucified for our sins. What did He say? Luke writes that He said, “Father forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing!” Jesus forgave them before God convicted them. Jesus forgave them without apology. He did it because he wanted to see them saved. Jesus offers you that same forgiveness today.

Christ died and rose again so that all may have life, eternal life, free from death and sin. Some will stay on the outside because they simply don’t want to accept Jesus, and some because of unbelief. Some because of pride and stubbornness. Some won’t come in because of guilt, shame, and unforgiveness.

So, what will you choose? Our God is a God of second chances. But you have to accept that gift. If I were to ask you if you have ever sinned; all of you would raise your hand. That’s the easy one. Most of you probably even believe that Jesus existed and even died for you.

The hard part is accepting that gift of forgiveness and letting God make you new. Let go of the guilt and shame, and let Jesus take it to the cross where it belongs. Committing my life to God was the best decision I’ve ever made. I guarantee you can’t even imagine what plans and purpose God has for you on the other side of forgiveness.