Have you ever seen someone get really angry about something really small? Like when you are at a stoplight and the light turns green. If you don’t go within 0.5 seconds of the light turning green, the dude in the truck behind you is already laying on his horn. Are you ever tempted to just sit there at the light while they honk? Just me? Ok. Maybe you don’t drive, but you’ve probably been in a restaurant when they get someone’s order wrong and the person freaks out. They go full Karen, screaming at the employees demanding a manager, and the rest of the restaurant is just watching like what is wrong with you? Or maybe someone accidentally bumps into the school bully in the hall and before you know it, an entire fight breaks out because they just can’t control their anger.
Let’s be honest, anger turns us into people we don’t want to be. Seriously, do you think people like themselves when they act like that? If they saw a video of themselves screaming or cussing someone out, I bet they wouldn’t be too proud of it. Do you like yourself when you act like that? Probably not, right? I know I don’t. None of us wake up in the morning thinking, I want to scream at a stranger today. Or I want to make my best friend feel like garbage because of the mean things I say to her. Nobody says that, but if we are not careful that is what we will do.
Now I want to be clear, anger is a normal emotion that everyone experiences. It isn’t inherently wrong to get angry. In fact, some things we should get angry about. When you think about all the lives destroyed by abortion every day, when you see someone being bullied and abused, when you look at any form of evil in the world, that stuff should make you angry. Anger is a natural, normal part of life.
Think about when your sibling borrows something without asking. Or when your mom does something to embarrass you in front of your friends. It makes sense for those things to make you mad. However, when we don’t learn to control our anger, and we let it consume us, that’s when it can cause a lot of damage to ourselves and the people around us.
Uncontrolled anger steals your peace.
Uncontrolled anger can take over your life, steal your peace and make you miserable. In fact, the devil loves to use our anger as a tool to control us.
Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.”
You have probably seen it in your own life. Something bad happens, you get angry, you don’t know how to or you choose not to let go of that anger and slowly it takes over. All you can think about is how angry you are. All you see is the bad in the situation. All you want is revenge. That is a really dangerous place to be because, in that position, it is so easy for the devil to swoop in and take control. He will consume you with thoughts of hatred and revenge. You will be torn up inside by it. No one wants to live like that, weighed down by all that bitterness. That is a miserable way to live, and God didn’t create us to live that way.
God wants our hearts to be filled with peace, but we can’t be filled with peace and filled with anger at the same time. If you are not careful, Satan will use uncontrolled anger to rot you from the inside out, and before you know it, you will look at your life and you will hate the person you have become. You will look at your life and find no peace, no joy, only bitterness, heaviness, and anger.
On top of that– Uncontrolled anger destroys your influence.
King Solomon was the wisest man to ever live, next to Jesus. He writes about anger on multiple occasions in the Bible.
Look at Ecclesiastes 7:9. It says, “Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.”
Proverbs 19:11 says, “Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.”
What’s he saying? You can control your temper, and when you do that, people will think highly of you. They will respect you. Or you can lose your temper, and lose your respect at the same time. If you want to have influence with your friends and people at your school, you need to have control over your temper.
Think about it, no one wants to be close to someone who is constantly snapping and losing their temper. Nobody is impressed or inspired by someone who makes everyone around them feel like dirt. People shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells around you because they are afraid that at any moment you will chew them out for no reason.
Think about how angry people make you feel. Do you like being around them? Do you trust them? Do you look at them and think “Wow I want to be like them”? No. You don’t.
If you are a Christian and you don’t know how to control your temper, how are you expecting the people around you to want to follow Jesus? We go to church and we tell people about how God has changed our life, and in the same breath, we snap at someone for making a little mistake. We hold grudges against people and constantly get involved in drama, but then we tell people that we serve a loving God. And we expect them to believe us? Think about it, if I was constantly yelling at you, belittling you, making you feel bad about yourself, would you want anything to do with what we teach here at church? No. That’s why it is so important to control our anger as followers of Jesus. When I tell people that I am a Christian I want them to think, “Wow that is the most kind and gracious person I know. I want to know more about their life and what’s important to them.” But if I can’t control my temper, what they will really think is, “Wow they are the meanest person I know, if their God is anything like that, I want nothing to do with Him.”
This is why Paul in the New Testament writes, in Ephesians 4:31, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.”
Uncontrolled anger is a problem that can destroy our lives and our influence in other people’s lives. It can cause us to lose friendships, and any joy or peace in our lives. It is a problem that we have to deal with. But if uncontrolled anger is a problem, what’s the solution? The very next verse in Ephesians 4 gives us the answer.
“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
According to this verse, the solution to anger is forgiveness.
Richard Houston, a 21 year veteran of the Mesquite Police Department, died a few months ago when he was shot in the line of duty responding to an argument between a husband and wife. He left behind a wife and three children, including his 18-year-old daughter Shelby who was asked to speak at her father's funeral.
She delivered a powerful eulogy, in which she said, “Part of me wishes I could despise the man who did this to my father. But I can’t get any part of my heart to hate him. All that I can find is myself hoping and praying for this man to truly know Jesus.”
When I think about the pain this girl went through when she heard the news that her father had been killed, when I imagine all the emotions, including anger, that were probably running through her mind, I am amazed by how much forgiveness she shows in this moment. She doesn’t want revenge, she doesn’t hate him, she doesn’t snap and lose it, she hopes for an opportunity to share Jesus with Him. She shows way more forgiveness than that man deserves. Shelby was able to show this incredible forgiveness to this man because Shelby has already been shown incredible forgiveness. She knows that because of her sin she deserved to die, but God loved her enough to send Jesus to die on the cross paying the debt for her sins. She knows that God has forgiven her of every wrong thing she has ever done, and He wants a relationship with her, despite all her imperfections. Because of that forgiveness that God showed Shelby, she is able to do the same in probably the worst situation she has ever faced.
People are going to hurt you. Whether accidentally or intentionally, they will hurt you. But you have a choice. You can choose to hold a grudge. You can choose to be angry at them and lose your temper and plot your revenge. Or you can choose to show them forgiveness. You can choose to forgive them in the same way that God has forgiven you. Even though they don’t deserve it. Even though it's not what the world would tell you to do. Just like Shelby, if you can forgive like Christ forgave you, you will be free from the burden of anger. You will be filled with peace and joy.
If you are struggling with anger. You need to practice forgiveness. This isn’t always easy. Especially if someone hurt you really badly, it can take time to fully forgive them. But if you want to be free from anger and all the damage it’s doing to you, you have to learn to forgive. We have to let go of all of our rage and bitterness and choose to show forgiveness.
You can practice forgiveness by doing 2 things:
Remember that God saw every mistake you would ever make and still chose to send Jesus to die for you and forgive you of your sins. You didn’t deserve His forgiveness, but He still gave it to you freely. When you can remember how God forgave you, even when you didn’t deserve it, it makes it a lot easier to forgive the people who hurt you.
In Luke 6:28 Jesus tells us to “Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.”
When someone hurts you or makes you mad, instead of losing your temper and getting revenge, pray for them. I know that's probably the last thing you want to do when someone hurts you. I know you probably want to see them get hurt and fail, but when you start praying for the people you hate, over time you will start to truly forgive them. You will start to see God change your heart so that you aren’t filled with anger towards them anymore.
My challenge to you today is I want you to think about that person who hurt you, or that situation you are still upset about and I want you to ask God to help you let it go. Ask God to give you the strength to forgive. Ask Him to help you not to be bitter about the things that have gone wrong, but to be grateful for the good. Ask Him to help you let go of your anger and forgive like Christ has forgiven you. And this week when you are tempted to be angry or lash out or get revenge, pray that God will help you show forgiveness, even when they don’t deserve it.
There are a lot of people who are known for their anger. They are mad at the world, mad at their teachers, their friends and family, even mad at God. You look at them and their lives and all you see is misery. And there are people like Shelby Houston, who have every reason to be angry, but instead, they choose forgiveness. You look at their lives and you see peace and mercy and joy. You look at their lives and you see Jesus.
You get to decide which one you want to be. Do you want people to look at you and see an angry and miserable person, or do you want them to see someone who forgives like Jesus does? Let’s choose to forgive.
©2024 Sagebrush Church
