Many people step into marriage thinking about what marriage can do for them. They think about how their spouse can serve them and how the marriage will benefit them. The truth is, this self-centered mindset is completely opposite of what Scripture teaches. Scripture teaches that Christ followers are to look out for others and their needs instead of their own. Biblical marriage requires sacrifice and considering the needs of our spouse instead of our own.
The apostle Paul taught his readers in the book of Philippians the importance of looking out for the needs of others. He wrote in this passage of Scripture, "Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, to" (verses 3-4). Next, in case we wanted an example of how to live this way, Paul wrote about the best model of this humble, selfless mindset: Jesus. Jesus had all of the reasons to seek praise and attention while He was on earth. He was the one worthy of serving, yet He served. According to Paul, "He humbled Himself in obedience to God and died a criminal's death on a cross" (verse 8). Jesus came on this earth and served. He constantly looked for the needs around Him and met them. There was nothing He would not do to serve, and we are called to follow His example of humility and service.
This way of thinking is completely different from how the world teaches us to think. In a world where we are trained to look out for ourselves and our needs, we are called to look out for others and consider others as more important than ourselves. This is particularly true in our marriages. Instead of looking to see how our spouses can serve us, we are called to look for ways to serve our spouses. Imagine how all of our relationships would be impacted if we made it our goal to serve others. This, my friends, would impact everything.
Take a moment to evaluate your life. How are you doing when it comes to living selflessly? Are you looking out for others' needs or thinking only of yourself? What is one way you can step away from selfishness? If you are married, how can you specifically step away from selfishness in your marriage? Commit to taking that step away from thinking only of yourself to thinking of the needs of others.
1Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.
3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
6 Though he was God,
he did not think of equality with God
as something to cling to.
7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
he took the humble position of a slave
and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
8 he humbled himself in obedience to God
and died a criminal’s death on a cross.
9 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
and gave him the name above all other names,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
