Jesus replied, "Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. Matthew 19:8
We heard in the weekend message that one of the greatest threats to marriage is a hard heart. A hard heart makes someone stubborn and only want their own way. When we have hard hearts, all of our relationships, especially our marriages, suffer. If we, however, choose to let go of our hard hearts and think about the people around us, our relations will grow stronger and healthier as a result.
Jesus warned against having a hard heart in Matthew 19. In this passage of Scripture, a group of religious leaders, called Pharisees, came to Jesus and asked, "Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?" (verse 3). You see, in Jesus' day, religious leaders misinterpreted a passage of Scripture, Deuteronomy 24:1-5. Due to that misinterpretation, they allowed men to divorce their wives for any reason, even small, insignificant reasons. Jesus answered their question brilliantly. He said, "Haven't you read the Scriptures?" (verse 4). Then He quoted Genesis 2:24, reminding the Pharisees that when a man and woman are married, "they are unified into one" (verse 5). Because of this, He concluded, "Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together" (verse 6).
The Pharisees were not satisfied with Jesus' answer that no one should "split apart what God has joined together." They pressed Him further, asking, "Why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away" (verse 7). Now, when they asked this question, they were referring to Deuteronomy 24:1, which they had misinterpreted. You see, they viewed this passage of Scripture as giving permission for men to divorce their wives for any reason. This passage of Scripture was meant to ensure that wives were taken care of if their husbands divorced them and left them uncared for. Jesus replied to the religious leaders, "Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended" (verse 8). Jesus was explaining that what the religious leaders really needed to be concerned about was their heart hearts.
Jesus spoke about hard hearts because He understood that it is hard hearts that fracture, and even destroy, relationships. When our hearts are so focused on ourselves, our hurts, and our own needs that we refuse to see the needs of the people around us, our relationships are unsteady. This is particularly true in marriage. Hard hearts take healthy marriages and make them sick. They threaten to break the unity between husbands and wives and lead to all kinds of fights and heartbreaks. When we let go of hard hearts and choose forgiveness, selflessness, and love instead, our marriages grow and strengthen. In fact, all of our relationships improve. May our hearts always be prepared to grow, forgive, and love sacrificially, and may our relationships, especially our marriages, thrive as a result.
Take a few moments to reflect. Is there an area of your life where you have hardened your heart and let stubbornness get in the way? Maybe you want to hold on to anger instead of forgive. Maybe you are unwilling to consider someone else's needs and only focus on your own. As you reflect, ask God to help reveal any areas of your life where you have had a hard, stubborn heart. As He reveals areas, confess those areas to God and ask Him to help you let go of your hard heart and stubbornness and choose to think of others and show love instead.
Matthew 19:1-12
1When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went down to the region of Judea east of the Jordan River. 2 Large crowds followed him there, and he healed their sick.
3 Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?”
4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” 5 And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ 6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
7 “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?” they asked.
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. 9 And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.”
10 Jesus’ disciples then said to him, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!”
11 “Not everyone can accept this statement,” Jesus said. “Only those whom God helps. 12 Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”
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